As my friend and I were driving along the single carriage road, a driver suddenly drove up from behind and then passed us furiously, before coming to a stop about 50 metres ahead where the road had been further narrowed by some repair work. All his rushing around came to nothing, and he gained neither time nor distance.
My friend was surprised that I seemed to remain calm throughout the incident.
“Wow, you are an angel”, he said. “If I was the one driving, I would have been swearing.”
“ I don’t know about being an angel. Let’s say I’ve learnt some lessons along the way. I would have been mad too, some years back.”
“So what happened? Why the change?”
“Oh, I had a paradigm shift for this kind of thing.”
“Explain.”
“Are you familiar with paradigm shifts?”
“I know the expression, but it seems more theoretical than practical.”
“Well, there is this book by Steven Covey; I’m sure you have heard of him.”
“Yes, of the ‘Seven Habits of Effective People’ fame.”
“Yes, in that book he gives two examples of paradigm shifts.”
“I’m not sure I remember them.”
“In one of them a man with a new expensive car, a Bentley or Rolls Royce was very angry while travelling slowly on a country road and large stones dropped on his new car.”
“What did he do?”
“He stopped the car and went to investigate. He found two small boys lying in a ditch; one of them, the younger one aged about six was bleeding from a broken leg. Before he could even say a word, the older boy, aged about eight said,
“Please, sir, you need to help us. My brother here was hurt and crying, so I couldn’t leave him, but we needed help, so I have been throwing stones to attract attention to get help.”
“Wow, I guess the car owner saw things differently after hearing that.”
“Yes, he did. He had a paradigm shift, once he saw matters, not from his own perspective, but from that of the boys. His anger disappeared and was replaced by concern and compassion. Mind you, nothing really changed. His car was still scratched by stones, but his reaction to the incident was different once he saw things from a different viewpoint.”
“What was the other story?”
“A man and three children were travelling in a train compartment. The children were very restless, noisy, and climbing all over the seats, and generally disturbing the other passengers. These other passengers looked at themselves and sort of turned their eyes in wonder at the man who seemed helpless and/ or unwilling to control the children. He seemed absorbed in the book he was reading and paid little attention to the children. When they finally got to their destination, the man and the children got up to leave. Before they left the carriage, the man said to the other passengers something like, “Please, accept my apologies for the children’s behaviour. We have just come from the hospital where the children’s mother died, and they are very distraught.” “At that moment the attitude of the other passengers in the train changed.”
“Interesting and moving stories. Now tell me what paradigm shift you had to change your behaviour on the road.”
“Oh that. I just use one of my medical student experiences. When I was in medical school, something happened that I have never forgotten. A pregnant woman went into labour in a taxi as the car neared the car park at our teaching hospital. The women around there just rallied, took off their wrappers and used them to form a screened off area in the park, while other knowledgeable women helped the woman deliver her baby. We students, in our first week of Labour Ward posting, were then despatched to the taxi park with a trolley to bring mother and baby into the hospital.”
“Wow, you had quite an experience.”
“Yes, but that wasn’t the paradigm shift. The shift is that whenever someone speeds across me like the driver of today, I say to myself, “Perhaps he is in a hurry because his wife is in labour, and he doesn’t want her to deliver in the car. That usually puts a smile on my face instead of getting me all worked up.”
“Good stories to learn from.”
“Shall I tell you of a more recent one?”
“Yes, go on.”
“A few years ago, there was this young female celebrity who was always on reality television. She was very ignorant and loud – mouthed and said the most outrageous things. Somehow, the media courted her as if wanting to promote a cult of ignorance, vulgarity, and mediocrity. Many people, including yours truly, despised her, and wondered what agenda the media were using her to promote – a nonentity.”
“Then she became ill. She was diagnosed late, with little chance of survival as the disease had advanced by the time it was found out. Facing death, she used her press exposure to promote a health attitude of prevention and action for other young women so that none would have to suffer her fate. This turn of events for health promotion caused me to have a paradigm shift where she was concerned. So, suddenly my attitude towards her changed; she became an ally for a good cause.”
“Interesting stories and experiences. Didn’t know you were such a story teller.”
“Well, now you know!”
